her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
