she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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