Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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