just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
did i just pee glitter
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