so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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