Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
