I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Im part way to drunk.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
