does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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