Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
