That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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