I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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