I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
