You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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