First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
handjob tips. give me some.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You're a waste of cheezeits
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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