i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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