8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Buhtt sex?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
