escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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