Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
