I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He felt like a one man threesome
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
