So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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