NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
