This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
