My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
