he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It's blow job season.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
