he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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