Have you finally orgasmed yet?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
