Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
