forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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