Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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