I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
