i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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