I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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