I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
