Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
