ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
The best revenge is premature balding
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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