It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
