Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
