Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
