my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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