He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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