I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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