If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize