Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
