what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
