ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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