I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
