We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
