He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize