You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
