that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
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