it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
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