My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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