She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
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It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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