How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
