I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
