i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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