Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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