Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
