I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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