I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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