My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
