So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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