Whats the glycemic index on semen?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
